I've noticed I really don't enjoy thinking.
Not when there's obviously too much hidden in my subconscious. That's the real terror in snow days.
You do the whole play in the snow until your nose literally runs stream down your face (have you ever noticed how much like salt snot tastes? C'mon don't say you've never tasted it by mistake.), read a bit in the books you've neglected, play a few hours on the video games you've forgotten, and hit the end button on your phone when your job attempts to call you in.
Foodcity on a snow day, I think not.
And then, there's nothing left to do but think.
Why is it everything makes so much sense when you're just going through the motions, but when you stop to analyze it...it doesn't really even connect?
I had no idea there were so many things I was messing up.
No idea there were so many plans I had made, and broke.
No idea the world was turning....it seems to be turning in the opposite rotation from the last day I had to sit and think.
Funny, isn't it?
Almost as funny as falling into a certain habit,and not realizing it's importance to your life until it's disrupted.
Fuck me, I'm in trouble!
I want to beat my head into the nearest wall and then ask myself what's wrong with me.
ha..I'd have to answer, "Well, Nikki, you just threw your skull into Sheetrock. Genius!"
heh.
Eventually the snow will melt, and so will all of this.